• carifavole

A Toast to New Beginnings

Last I left this blog, it was February and I was well on the way to becoming a little Office Career Woman. My heart was and always will be with acting and entertainment but I felt so shaken by various life events that I was certain having a stable income was the right way to go.

But it wasn’t. Not for me.

I am going to be a bit blunt; I believe I may have mentioned previously that I have suffered from depression for over a decade – I really started noticing it senior year of High School and while my battle with depression has had the ebb and flow of the Ocean’s current, it has always existed. I truly feel that being where I was would have killed me, in one fashion or another. Over-dramatic? Potentially. But when your physician says that he is obligated to call the authorities should he have concern for a patient’s well-being and that I should answer his next question very carefully, it’s a bit of a wake-up call.

This creative journey that I’m on could end in a dead-end; I could crash and burn, and crawl back to my parents’ home penniless with my tail between my legs. But the path that I was walking was perhaps even more dangerous; tempted daily to give up on my passion, what sort of person would I become? A lifeless drone whose only purpose was to live for money to fill the void that destroying her passion left.

Perhaps you think I am sharing too much. I do not. Society has put such a stigma on mental illness that no one feels comfortable admitting they are anything less than perfect. Facebook, Instagram – they are all carefully crafted snippets of an individual’s life. Troubling marriage? Spin it so that you two are “overcoming the struggles of life, hand-in-hand”. You are your own PR manager and everything is photoshopped. Don’t get me wrong, I love photoshop! I too love to highlight my ups and throw rainbow-tinted glasses over my lows. But that would be doing a disservice to the point of my blog: My Personal Journey to my Professional Career in Voice Acting.

So, what I’ve shared is the whole point. My passion – the fire within – will be snuffed out should I not allow it room to thrive. I am not the only actor who feels this way; in fact, I think every successful actor will have a similar story to share. That gives me hope that perhaps that is the key to success – the unending, internal force that drives one to continue to find and live out their passion in life.

Let’s recap 2017: the light of my life, my animal companion Fiori, passed away in January and left me devastated. I took a semi-promotional position to rise higher within the corporate world and had to face unnecessary office politics and drama; It was all I could do to get up in the morning to go to work. I took naps on my lunch breaks, a two hour nap when I came home from work, woke up to eat, and stayed on the couch numbly watching tv until I eventually passed out. Every day the same thing. I forced myself to audition for anything I could vaguely find interesting but mostly the only VO stuff I did was for returning clients. I tried to find the energy to market and mingle but I soon stopped seeing the point of it all.

Now, let us skip to present-day: June 11th, 2017. I have never had the ‘victim’ mentality to lie there and take it. I found the inner determination I needed. I quit the sensible Day Job career with the good pay and great benefits; my last day was May 19th. On May 6th, I became the fur-mommy to a rambunctious Italian Greyhound puppy, Cecily (born March 10th, 2017). I started working as a Content Creator for a small Production Company who exclusively produces children’s entertainment on May 22nd. (Due to the NDA agreement, I cannot provide any further detail or specific information such as the company’s name).

Within the course of 2 weeks, at the age of 30, my life has completely shifted. My day job is now in the creative field and the fact that I’m a voice actress is actually what pushed me above my competition. It was a little bit scary and I’m only now starting to feel a bit settled in but I don’t ever want to take a step back. This is the start that I was looking for; the push I needed to re-adjust my focus properly.

I hope to start showing more progress within the coming months. I’m still battling depression but leaving the corporate world and validating my creative passion has shown a tremendous improvement in my emotional and mental well-being. I am taking it easy the next 3 months – this will give me time to review what I have done in the past and what I need to start doing,  Cecily will then be 6 months old (and have gone through obedience training) and I should be much more settled in my new position.

For the first time I am being honest about not having a new blog post until August-September! But I hope to be brimming with energy, hope, passion, and ideas in my next entry.

Thank you for following my journey!

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